We have been wanting to go the air zoo in Kalamazoo for a few months and it happened that New Years Eve would be the best day to go! There was hardly anybody there and the kids had a great time. There are rides and airplanes to look at. Ethan and Ella loved riding the little rides and keep asking to go back. It was very clean and kids 4 and under are free! It was a great day and a fun way to get away for the day.
Friday, December 28, 2012
Finally this week we have gotten some snow! The kids were really excited when Daddy offered to take them outside to play. They are just getting so big and I can hardly stand it. We have a small resevoir behind our house that slopes at the end of the yard and they decided to use it as a small sledding hill. I was shocked that both kids went down by themselves! They carried their sled back up the hill and were having so much fun! They can't wait to go back out tomorrow!
Wednesday, December 26, 2012
Last year we started the project of finishing the basement. Well finally a year later we are ready for drywall. We had drywall delivered Wednesday morning and the work began. We were blessed to have three neighbors and my brother in law to help. They worked two short days and the drywall is completely up. It is so exciting to see. We are going to hire someone to do the mud and tape since Corey has never done that before. After that we will be ready for paint and carpet. I am so excited to have some extra living space, especially with baby on the way! Can't wait to show the finished project!
How are you feeling? Physically wonderfully. Truthfully feel the glow of pregnancy on the outside. On the inside, pretty yucky.
The last few weeks have been emotional to say the least. Christmas time? maybe. Anniversary coming up? maybe. Snow falling? maybe.
Fear and anxiety have gotten me. Fear over the health of our baby. Fear of losing another child. Anxious over every cramp, hurt or ache. Fearful of what I might not be doing. Anxious over what I need to be doing. Fearful that my cramps will turn to miscarriage. Anxious that I feel too good.
The only two people I have shared these feeling with, told me I was crazy. Well I don't feel crazy, I just feel alone. Alone that no one understands that just because Elias died almost two years ago, wow two years where has that time gone, doesn't mean that I am strong enough to walk through this pregnancy without fear and support. To be praying that my baby has a head was something I never dreamed of doing before Elias. I was so naive to life. I never imagined that I would be burying my child and giving him back to the Lord. But I did. As I walk through this new journey of grief and life as a mother who has lost her child, everything has changed. There is not anymore ignorance to what you think are the guarantees of life. There is not a guarantee for a healthy baby. I know that if God calls me to walk that road again, I will. Not for me but for Him.
My heart hurts. I am praying for God to heal it. I know He will.
"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wonds." Psalm 147:3
Tuesday, December 25, 2012
Christmas Eve we headed over to Carrie's for dinner and presents. Mom made the main course and we helped with the sides. The kids played together and waited patiently for present time to arrive. Kenny, Corey and Tony volunteered to do dishes and the ladies enjoyed some conversation. Aunt Amy started a tradition a few years back for the kids by passing out stockings with some small toys for them to open while the dishes got done. The kids were super excited about their treats and sat nicely listening to the Christmas story read by Amy. Annabelle also treated us to some Christmas carols by playing the keyboard. She was very good! Ethan started running a fever while we were at Carries but was a trooper! It was a great time celebrating Christmas with our family!
Christmas morning Ell woke first, which happens on most days, however she was content to wait for Ethan by watching some cartoons. Since Ethan had been running a fever and up in the middle of the night we let him sleep. Once awake there was lots of excitment. Ethan and Ella exchanged presents that they had picked out for eachother. Ethan picked a Minnie Mouse backpack for Ella. While Ella picked a remote control car/ helicopter for Ethan. They were both excited for the other to open their gifts. It was a great morning opening and enjoying our family. Ethan would lay down between presents because he was just worn out- it was pretty cute. After presents we ate our tradition on breakfast casserole and got ready to head to Grandma and Grandpa Barnes.
We spent the day at Grandma and Grandpa Barnes house. We enjoyed a nice lunch and dinner:) We opened presents, listend to the Christmas story and Aunt Monica played some carols on the piano for us. I was a bad picture taker. Ethan was feeling pretty awful as you can see in this picture. We rocked and held him most of the day. Despite him not feeling good we had a great day celebrating Jesus birthday!
Monday, December 17, 2012
Ethan's preschool put on a fabulous Christmas program. Ethan had been practicing for weeks and was excited about performing for his family. Great Grandma Smith, Grandma Chris, Grandpa and Grandma Barnes and Uncle Nate all came to watch! Aunt Carrie, Uncle Kenny and Anna were all there too, since Daniel and Ethan are in the same class. It was fun watching them up on stage. They sang 15+ songs. It was impressive to watch the organization that went into the evening. What a fun memory!
Saturday, December 15, 2012
Last weekend Ethan and Ella sang during church service. I think they both were adorable and really cute. They were both so proud of themselves. They have loved practicing over the last few weeks and it was sweet to see them perform. This video was from rehearsal so during service Ella stood next to Ethan which was better than her keep looking up at her big brother.
Ella has been loving to play hair dresser and dress up over the last few weeks. She is always asking for her dress up box and sits with me as I put on my makeup. She pretends to put on her makeup and blow dry her hair while I do mine. I still had these sponge curlers from when I was growing up and she loved for me to put them in. However she did not love laying in them so they quickly came out at bedtime. Ella loves to get her toes painted and in one of the pictures you can see Ethan admiring her toes. She is such a girl but also loves to run and play cars and get dirty with her big brother.
Ethan's preschool put on a Thanksgiving feast for the kids and one guest. Ethan choose his Dad to come along with him. The four and five year olds were the Indians and the the three year old class were Pilgrims. They enjoyed a full Turkey feast with all the fixings. The boys and Corey had a great morning.