Elias birthday is coming up. I want to do something, I have to do something. Not sure how to plan. I tried googling celebrating baby loss birthday but it seems no one writes about this. See its not about the loss that I want to celebrate but for the LIFE.
Life that I choose to give to Elias and not death.
Life that has given me more then I could have ever imagined.
Life that has taught me things about myself that I was too blinded to understand and recognize.
Life that by others saw as in survivable.
Life that has brought together friendships.
Life that impacted others. Some who we will never know about.
Life that has changed my marriage in a way that forces unity, love, appreciation, understanding of our loss and restored connection.
Life that will forever be etched into my soul.
Life that was real. He was born ALIVE!
Life that was created in the image of our Lord and Savior.
Life that can only be given by God.
Life that was created for His glory.
The sadness, the grief, the emptiness, the hurt, the tears, the questions, the anger, the heartache, the anguish, the pain, the sorrow can be overwhelming for some. Those feelings approach and I do allow my tears to fall. I do feel the physical and emotional pain of losing my son. Yet it’s not that those feelings only last a minute its that those feelings come with hope. Hope in my God who is faithful. That He is there for every feeling, every new day. He is there holding me, carrying me, directing me through the work of the spirit. Hope that can never diminish. Never diminish because of my choice to live my life for His glory. Allowing God the victory in every detail.
As I plan for Elias birthday I am not sure what I expect that day to be like. I really wish I knew what and how I was to plan. I know everything will come together. A day filled with celebrating what God has done through a precious life He allowed me to have a privilege of knowing and caring for. I desperately do not want a day about me or Elias death. I want a day knowing we have hope because the price is already paid, the victory has been won.
I have a great team on my side. Be looking for details soon!