Thursday, June 9, 2011

Okay

We are here chugging along. I have been sleeping better the last two or so weeks which is awesome. I have been able to get into that deep sleep almost every night. Huge answer to prayer. I think I am a much happier mom, wife and friend:)
Last weekend I spent the weekend with my two older sisters and mom for a girls weekend. We do not celebrate birthdays anymore so we try to do a fun day/weekend throughout the year. I love this idea. We went to Pokagon State Park in Angola. We frequented this place growing up and we had so many memories going back. We shopped all day Friday, for like 7 1/2 hours straight! Relaxed in the hot tub Friday night. Saturday morning we woke up and went for a morning run, came back for breakfast and then enjoyed a nice long hike. After our hike we came back and relaxed a little before heading out to paddle boat. We came back to our room, showered and relaxed for a couple of hours. We played some euchre, read and just relaxed. We ate dinner at a nice restaurant and then came back and scrap booked. I finished Ella's scrapbook up until she was a year old! It was a nice relaxing time. I am so thankful for Corey willing to let me go and hang out with our kids.
I got awesome news yesterday morning about Elias' memorial money that was giving to our church's children's ministry department. We found out that with this money our church has already begun to purchase and put in place a new security system for our kids. I am super excited about this. Knowing our kids will be safe and parents can feel at peace leaving their kids in our children's ministry. My heart melted all day yesterday thinking about how my sweet little son will impact a whole lot of kids and families. I miss Elias, I think of him often. But I am okay. I am okay with Elias dancing in Heaven. In reality its a much better life then I could of ever have imagined for my little boy. In Heaven with the one that loves him most, made perfect, made whole! Grief is a funny thing. The last few weeks I have been doing "better" whatever that really means. Its getting easier to understand and comprehend that my son died but there are these moments when the heartache and sadness seem to overtake. Sometimes it last a few minuets or hours but joy and peace fill the ache. We are walking up this valley with the good Lord on our side.
"For You have delivered my soul from death. Have You not kept my feet from falling. That I may walk before God in the light of the living?" Psalm 56:13

No comments: