There are certain days that can bring my grief, my sadness, my heartache right up to the surface where it feels like Elias was just here yesterday. There is an 18th in every month which reminds me of the day he was born. There is always a Friday in every week which I can remember the day he was with us like it is today. There are songs, scriptures, places and pictures that I can see or hear everyday but then there are times when those things take my breath and my words away. They take me to a place where I am holding my sweet baby and having to let go. I am so overcome with tears and sadness. No matter how "good" I think I am doing and how time is starting to heal my wound it is easily ripped right open to start all over again. Elias has a part of my heart just like any child does with their mother. He was a part of me, from me and Corey. Its seems too complex to even comprehend sometimes. I continue to hope in the Lord, to hold onto to his promises and his faithfulness.
"Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. For our light affliction which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory. While we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal. " 2 Corinthians 4:16-18