Monday, May 2, 2011

I am Here

I have been wanting to blog for a couple of days now but life seems to have overtaken for the moment...
I had been asked to speak and share my journey with Elias at our spring tea woman's event at our church. This last week I spent time rehearsing and putting the final pieces together. I was starting to get nervous at the start of last week but as the week went on and I practiced; God just gave me the strength to share my story. It did not have to be the greatest message ever preached or be a some sort of earth shattering teaching. It was the story God had given me and carried me through. I was just he medium in which God's love, hope and redemption was shown. The morning was a great event and I was able to talk slowly and allow Gods words to flow through me. It was actually really fun sharing Elias with a lot of people who may not of known him before. Sharing my sweet child and how he has transformed my life in so many ways. Challenging other woman in their own walk with God. What a great day! What an amazing blessing!
Speaking of Blessings. Corey and I have and continue to be so blessed throughout this journey. Its amazing that when are least expecting, most needing God works out all the details. We have been trying to figure out how we were going to pay for Elias' headstone. With all the medical bills, car repairs, funeral expenses and just plain old life there has not been much left for what we were hoping to use for his headstone. We got a call last week from the funeral home letting us know that cost were going up on May 1st and that if we could try to get an order placed so we could lock in a lower price. Corey and I had already been talking about this trying to figure out a way to get one ordered. I want so badly for Elias to have the proper marking. We are never going to get to pay for new toys, clothes, books, food, cars, college, wedding for him, it seems like this is the least we can do to show him our love. So one day last week Corey and I decided on a headstone and Corey went to place an order. To lock in the price you only had to have 10%down, to have it made you have to have half paid for and for them to place it has to be paid in full. Well the reality is that we could not pay in full and we would make payments until it was. I was so sad thinking it could be months before this would be paid for and placed for Elias. How terrible that we his parents could not provide this right now for him. However our Heavenly Father provides exactly what we need. The following day at the spring tea I learned that the money from ticket sales would be donated to our family. My eyes fill with tears as I share this with you. I am not sure if it will cover the headstone or not but it will probably get us pretty close. Just as I worried, doubted, and felt self pity the Lord has blessed me. I am so unworthy, I was not thinking even closely that God would provide this money for us but He has. Why do I doubt? He knows us, He knows our needs down to every last detail.

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