Tomorrow is another holiday, another day without my precious baby. Kids are singing at church and this will be the first time Ethan will be singing. He has not been so hip on practicing but we are really trying to encourage him. We shall see how it goes. It is also baby dedication at our church. This past Sunday our children's ministry director asked if we would like to have Elias be part of dedication. Once again I felt so humbled by being able to share my Elias in this way. She felt like we were a true picture of giving your child to the Lord and how great to start the service off by sharing Elias. It stings, it hurts, it causes tears. Despite being so appreciative of being able to have Elias be a part of what he should of been a part of if he was here with us. It also is a deep reminder that he is not. He is in heaven, He is made whole, He is in the perfect place. The emptiness that has been left here in my earthly heart is what seems unbearable at times. Walking this valley, experiencing these holidays, what would have been events; is leading me to restoration and healing. Understanding that Elias is exactly where he should be.
Here is the verse and picture we picked for dedication. We used this same verse in his obituary. Perfect verse and great reminder that God knows everything and has every detail in His hand.
"For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother's womb. I will praise You for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well. My frame was not hidden from You, When I was made in secret And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Your eyes saw my substance being yet unformed And in Your book they all were written. The days fashioned for me. When as yet there were none of them."