Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Up and Down

As I am sure is so very common with anyone dealing with a loss of a loved one, the ride is a roller coaster. It truly is a day at a time, sometime hour by hour. The ups are the smiles, hugs and encouragement brought on by my two cuties, friends and families. We have been blessed beyond words and humbled to the floor. We have gotten so many cards, emails and Facebook messages that are uplifting and so thoughtful. The Lord continues to bless us and I pray that I continue to just give it back to Him. He is the one that deserves all the glory. The downs come at times when I hug, hold, love and laugh with my two cuties and at times I break for the need to have Elias here with us, part of our daily family life. He was and is so special to us, its so hard to believe he is gone. He lived his perfect God determined amount of time. I am so thankful for all that time- I can easily remember his peacefulness, his body and that day. I hold that time near to my heart.
A close friend had gotten a book about Heaven for Ethan and gave it to him last week. The book is simple and oh so very sweet. Every time I read it I remember how awesome, amazing, beautiful, perfect, worshipful place Heaven is. We know that Elias is singing praises to our Lord and is just so perfect. We long for the day to met Elias again...
Corey went back to work Monday and I have been busy busy busy from the time I wake up to the time I decide I need some rest. I have had some dear friends sit and keep me company, running errands, writing thank yous, thinking of crazy tasks to add to my to-do list and it could go on. Its good to be busy, it scares me to not be busy. I know the Lord is working on my heart to heal me and restore me in Him. I am craving my quiet time even more than when I was pregnant. Psalms has been a great book for me to consistently be in during this journey. I am reminded of his comfort and promises with every reading.

"The Lord is m light and my salvation; Whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life; Of whom shall I be afraid?"Psalm 27:1

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