Monday, March 28, 2011
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
There are so many moments that the heartache fills up inside of me and wants to cry out. However, those moments seem to come at inconvenient times. Like right before I am supposed to see someone whom I might not feel is the right person to be sobbing too. But maybe I am? Maybe this person needs to see the rawness of this journey, needs to see God's love. Despite the fact that I feel that I am being obedient to the doors God has opened, I also feel that I may be missing other areas of my life that He is trying to work on. What else do I need to let go of? I am not sure I have an answer tonight, but the Lord is continuing to strengthen and mature me. I turn to Him. I give it to Him. Whatever those areas are, I pray I am obedient and allow Him to mold me into the person He wants me to become.
Friday, March 18, 2011
- Bringing Elias home for his first time
- First Bath
- Understanding Elias signs for hunger, sleep and holding
- Lots of nursing
- Lots of rocking
- Hopefully lots of sleeping
- Singing my favorite songs to him
- Watching him grow
- Seeing how Ethan and Ella would have been loving on him and adjusting to having Elias with us
Instead we visit a place where we can go to remember him. Give him his little prize. Give him my heart. Give him my tears.
Saturday, March 12, 2011
- Cards and emails filled with scripture, love, and words of encouragement
- Prayers- We know our family has been bathed in prayer over the last six months. We are so grateful for this. There were and are still times when I am so sad and heartbroken, but hold onto the fact that someone is praying for me, praying for our pain and grief.
- Food- We are scheduled to receive 30 meals!!! How awesome is that? It has been a HUGE blessing to our family. We can just be a family and not worry about the details right now in our life.
- Financially- We were able to give an awesome gift to the children's ministry at our church through the hearts of others.
- Ultrasound Pictures- The Woman of Grace Church gave us a gift card to The Miracle in Me that helped us see our little guy during the time he was in my tummy. These ultrasound pictures allowed us to bond with Elias in a special way and to prepare for the delivery.
- Pictures- Eileen at Traditions Photography has been so giving of her time, resources and energy. She gave us so much in the maternity, labor and delivery pictures. These pictures represent such a tender moment in our life. I love being able to look through and relive the start of our journey until the time we met Elias with remembering the smallest details because of her gift.
- Friendships- Our friends and family relationships have blossomed and become so much more real then they could ever be.
- Church- Our church continues to provide meals, prayer, support and love. We are part of an awesome local church family. I am so grateful to call Grace Church my home.
- Appreciation for Life- Elias has taught us how precious life is on a deeper level then we knew before Elias was born.
- Appreciation for one another- Elias has brought our friends, family and church closer. Closer to each other and closer to the Lord. Corey and I have also been brought closer together. We are trying to walk together through this valley, not alone. I love that Elias is teaching and showing his mom and dad how to better love and serve the Lord through their marriage and family.
- Sharing God's Love- Will you pray for me about this? I am headed to the local juvenile detention center next week to share my testimony. I am so excited as the the Holy Spirit is laying verses and scripture on my heart to share with these girls. I am also scared and nervous. I know the Lord will be right there holding my hand and leading me in my words. I know on some level what they are thinking, feeling and dealing with. My prayer is that these girls would know they are loved by our God not because of what they have done, but because of what He has done for us. God's love and grace has been poured over my life, I pray they see that.
- Growth- The Lord is working on my heart. My passion and desire to follow, obey, serve, love and praise Him is rising up inside me. I am unsure of what He has planned for my life, but I know that His plan is way better then mine.
I feel there are so many more blessings that have come from my sweet sweet little boy that can and will be added to our life here on earth. There is not an hour that goes by that an image of his precious self goes through my mind. He is a part of me, he has a part of my heart. That can never change or be taken away.