To My Sweetest Elias,
Our journey started when I found out I was pregnant on June 13th 2010. From that moment you began to transform my heart and it will never be the same again. We started planning and thinking about how our life as a family would be changed by the addition of another child.
On Tuesday September 21st 2010 we learned how big that transformation would be. I was told that I should let you go. That letting you go now would be much easier then letting you go later. Your Daddy and I knew the second they spoke those words there was no choice really. The Lord had given you life through me and I was chosen to give you life as the Lord had given me mine. We began to pray for many things; that the Lord might heal you, that he would work in our lives to be able to understand and share why the Lord gave you to us. We also prayed that our Mighty Savior would be glorified over and over again through your life. There was no letting you go that day or any day afterwards. You were apart of us, of me, there was nothing that could change that. I was so humbled that God had chosen me to walk this journey to carry you and be your mother. I did not feel worthy, you are too special. My heart's desire was to allow the Lord to work in my life and be able to praise Him through yours, sweet Elias. The days, weeks and months were filled with so much peace and contentment knowing that our Lord was working. Working on what He had planned. As we prepared for your birth, we prayed over lots of decisions and wanted you to be comfortable and without suffering. Our prayer for your delivery and life was that the Lord would use it for whatever He wanted. We now can see how His perfect plan is always the best and exactly how it should be.
Do you know how many other hearts you have transformed? From the day we found out about you Elias, people loved and prayed for you. We have an amazing family, church family, and many close friends who continued to stretch their hands and hearts to our family because of you. So many people were praying and rejoicing in every aspect of your sweet life, from the time you were in my womb to the time you spent here on earth and now as you are in heaven. People love you and have been so proud to be able to hold and meet you. God has used you to change and unify a community.
When you first arrived, I was scared that you were only going to be with us for a few short minutes, but you proved us wrong. Even at this time God proved to be in control. I love how you showed me in your sweet life how much God loves me and how I will always be in his hands. You are such a precious little boy. I fell in love with you the second I saw you. You were perfect in my eyes - just perfect. When they layed you on my chest I saw no imperfections but love. You had these long fingers and toes. I never imagined you would be as big as you were. Weighing in at 5lbs. 4oz. and 18in. long you were much more than your Daddy and I expected. All day long we tried to study you so we would not forget. From your perfect fingers and toes to your cute little nose and little lips. Your chest was so strong. We sat all day admiring you. So many people were there to love you. You met your brother and sister who also loved your hands and feet. Your grandparents, aunts, uncles and two special friends of ours were there to love you and praise the Lord for your life. Your day here on earth was more than anyone of us could have imagined. Filled completely with love, laughter, tears, praises to the Lord, and prayers. Your day was filled wiwth the presence of the Lord more than ever in my life. He was carrying me throught thte day just as we prayed for. The Lord took you from my arms to his. We are so thankful in the blessing of him sweetly taking you into Heaven. You are made whole. As we were praising the Lord with our voices, you ran into Jesus arms. We knew you were taking that short trip and would be praising the Father at his feet. We cannot wait to meet you again and praise the Lord with you in our arms again.
Your life has deepened my relationship with the Lord more than I could have ever imagined it would. Scripture and the Lord's promises have been poured over me to soak into my heart and mind. We have been constantly reminded of how our lives should florify our Mighty Savior in ever aspect. Your are an example of God's presence and I never question His will for your life.
There is so much more to say, more than we could ever speak. I rest in knowing that you know all of this before it leaves my lips.
With all of my heart sweet Elias,